Tuesday, November 20, 2012

10 Things I'm Grateful For!

1. I am grateful for my fiance and his amazing support. I am lucky to have a man that supports my endeavors and enjoys even watching me work.I am grateful that even though we live in two entirely different countries (canada and the U.S) we are devoted to each other and travel to each other for extended visits.

2. I am grateful for his children who now adore me, and have given me the chance to be a 'parent' figure which has given me a deeper understanding about my own experiences as a child and my own parents.

3. I am grateful that he is a father, and I believe he is one of the best daddy's I've ever known. He plays and interacts with his kids despite his disability, plays pretend and makes them laugh often. I've never heard so many "I love you's" in one household between kids and parent. He encourages them to play pretend, to be creative and always puts them first - and his kids love him for it.This has given me the chance to see what a 'real loving family' is like that it brings me to tears.

4. I am grateful for my grandfather whom I care for full time as his caregiver. He has allowed me to turn his basement upside down into not only my "woman cave" but also as my studio despite his unwillingness to "change" things. It has allowed me to care for him full time but also put my creative nature to use and work at home.

5. I am grateful for my business, Sahetah's Jewelry. By starting my own business, I've gained confidence that I've never had, the ability to communicate with others at craft shows and feel comfortable doing so. It helped me find the joy of speaking with other people and hearing their stories and their journey. It helped me find like minded people with their own journey becoming an artist. It helped me really appreciate the value of handmade. I am most grateful that through my business it drives me to continue learning new techniques and constantly growing as an Artist.

6. I am grateful for my wonderful and amazing German Shepherd Tasha. Though I've only known her since she was 6 years old, she has been an amazing and loving companion. Through understanding dog behavior (another avenue I had wanted to venture in, but as a caregiver I'm required to be at home, not rehabilitating dogs at shelters) that dogs often portray our inner feelings because of their extreme sensitivity to their owners emotions and react on them, I've realize that I have always lived with constant anxiety, and she has helped me to calm myself and relax. She has also been my protector, and with a history of abuse she has made me feel safe walking on the street where the men who often would prey on me, would steer clear of me because of Tasha's presence. Though she loves strangers and receiving lots of pets on the bus, Only a few times I've been able to witness how quickly she can respond to a person when they are acting inappropriately, such as when a drunken man has tried to approach us rather quickly (who we found out was kicked out of the bar my dad was in because he was sexually harassing the waitress), or when a stranger had tried entering my room while we were both asleep. She checks on me when I'm asleep and always stays by my side, watching me when I'm about and standing guard at the front door when I'm gone.

7. I am grateful for my close friend Chris who stuck by me and helped me out when my family stranded me in Toronto with only the clothes on my back, turning a visit at a friend's into a more permanent stay. Without his kindness and support at finding the confidence in myself to take steps I was so afraid to take...being alone on a bus surrounded by strangers and men I didn't know...I don't think I would have survived. He helped me get on my feet, despite having nothing. His support was the only reason that the overwhelming hurt, realizing how little my family cared about me or my well-being didn't break me, because there was at least ONE person who cared. I have always valued his friendship, and perhaps one of the best dudes around to have your back. :)

8. I am grateful for my health so that I can be creative, so that I can use my hands and travel and support my fiance whose body has failed him. Even though he is limited to his abilities due to his failed back surgery and current health advances unable to correct the problem - my health and confidence gives me the ability to help support him, and he helps support me.

9. I am grateful for the chronic depression I had when I was a teen. Through it, I discovered my passion for art and writing and my artistic abilities drastically advanced. For that period of time I learned how to write poetry and wow my teachers with compelling stories.   I have thus continued to write, with a project in the works, this would probably not happen without that time period where I learned to really enjoy writing and to excel at certain topics.

10. Lastly, I am grateful for my family. Shouldn't we all be? I am grateful for my parents and my sister's selfishness, for putting themselves first over their children, for manipulating others to take over their OWN responsibilities for the simple fact that they are too lazy to care, for never saying "I love you", for refusing to be there at my rescue when there was a chance I was going to be sexually assaulted, for their lack of interest in my schooling when I was a child...

You've taught me through your actions and poor behavior to be a better person. You've taught me about the person I never want to be.You taught me to be loving, because I understand the pain the absence of love creates. You've taught me to share and to be giving, because I understand what greed and selfishness create. You taught me to never seek your approval and never desire it - as the day I have your approval is the day I'm no better than you. You taught me determination to succeed and reach for what I need despite resistance and disprovable.

You taught me a lot about what 'not' to be, and I am proud to be the person that I am. :)

Please comment and share the 10 things you are grateful for :)